Alaska: Day 17: 7-22-93: The Long And Winding Road (Anchorage To Fairbanks)

(Note: As I write this, it's really 10:45 p.m. on 7-23, but the last two days have been SO hectic, that I'm only now getting the chance to write.)

I should have known things were going to get a little hairy today when my "10:30" departure turned into 4:15 (!). After being juggled around all afternoon (I was reassigned 3 or 4 times), I was finally given the unwieldy task of driving the 15-foot Challenger van hooked up to an 18-foot trailer. Never having pulled a trailer before -- much less on an 8 hour drive -- I was nervous, to say the least (plus, I'm not exactly the world's best driver [or navigator]. All things considered, you really don't want me behind the wheel of a swerving megaton vehicle). Jenny, the volunteer assigned to accompany me, was even more stressed out. Together, we tried valiantly, but vainly, to convince the powers that be to give us a different task. We were assured that we would learn the ropes in no time and there was "nothing to worry about." Neither of us was particularly calmed by this patronizing hand stroke -- we were well aware that plenty of things could go wrong (like getting lost, wrecking the trailer or plummeting off the mountain road to a fiery death [worst-case scenario]).

Of course, in the end, we acquiesced (for what choice did we have?). On the road, I quickly learned (the hard way) some basic tenets of trailer hauling: don't travel above 50 mph; don't slam on the brakes; don't make sharp turns; and NEVER get in a position where you have to back up! It was anxious going at first, but eventually, I got the hang of it (sort of). As you can imagine, an eight hour drive can become quite tedious, and only two things kept me sane and awake -- the scenic view and Jenny's conversation. You really get to know someone over the course of 400 miles, and by the end of the trip, Jenny and I became friends. We talked about everything from careers & relationships to peppermint lifesavers (a candy that Jenny sheepishly confessed an addiction to, as evidenced by the 4 [!] rolls she consumed on our drive), and spent most of the trip laughing away our nervousness (both of us were tickled pink by the comic parallel between us and Lucille Ball/Desi Arnaz in The Long Long Trailer.)

--------------------------------"The Deathmobile"--------------------------------------

Our backs stiff and our asses numb, we did a celebratory limp when we finally made it to the University at Fairbanks at 12:15 in the morning, just as the sun was setting (it was a stunner -- like a luminous orange ball drifting in a pink-purple sea). We arrived to a scene of utter chaos. All the volunteers -- some 30 or 40 at this point -- were milling around aimlessly, wondering just where it was they were supposed to go and what exactly they were supposed to do (They reminded me of the zombies in "Dawn of the Dead"). There was no leadership and no order. The head volunteers were all in a meeting at some undisclosed locale, and they left little or no instructions. People weren't even sure where to sleep or what time they had to gather in the morning.

The more people I talked to, the more I realized how pathetically disorganized this event was (every question I asked was met with blank faces or ambiguous, often contradictory, responses). I was aghast -- and somewhat pissed -- that no one was in control or could give me a clear picture of just what the Hell was going on. I could see I was not alone in my frustration: everybody seemed miffed at something or other, but no one knew exactly whom to blame. Finally, Minty Fresh Jenny could take it no longer, and she set off to find someone in charge.

As for myself, I decided to take a shower and eat a box of Wheat Thins (my dinner -- there had been a big banquet for everyone else, but, of course, it was long over by the time Jenny and I arrived!). While I waited for some direction, I chatted with Andrea, Merrit, Gabriel and Andy. They were really upset, because Andrea had lost the keys to their rental car, and all their stuff was locked in the trunk (eventually, Andy ripped out the back seat -- I wonder if insurance covers that? -- and managed to get to the backpacks; the key would ultimately turn up the following day, which was a good thing, because the rental was slated to be one of the pilot cars for the race).

Finally, at about 2:00 in the morning, Jenny came back with some decisive information, including wake up time (6:00 -- I winced) and our permanent assignment (Yep, you guessed it -- we were to keep driving the frickin' trailer!). Well, by now it was late, and most everyone had chosen a place to sleep (there were no more beds to be had, natch -- par for the course!). Utterly exhausted, Jenny and I decided to sleep together in the trailer's bed, figuring we might as well get some positive use out of the hunk of steel that was to be our week-long "ball and chain." (Note: knowing your lascivious side, dear reader, maybe I should clear something up. Though we slept in the same bed, Jenny and I were in separate sleeping bags and nothing untoward occured -- shame on you for what you thought! I have a girlfriend, after all, as well as a reputation to consider.) Jenny and I talked a little more, reminiscing about the day's jaunt, until we laughed ourselves to sleep around 3:30.